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Q and A about Lobola Negotiations

 

What is Lobola?

‘Lobola’ is an African practice that involves the groom’s family giving a gift, of either cash or heads of cattle, to the parents of the bride for customary marriage.

 

What is the purpose of paying Lobola?

The Traditional African process of marriage begins with lobola, which is also known as bride price or dowry. Lobola is not about putting the Bride on sale, but an opportunity for the groom’s family to appreciate, and show respect to the Bride and her family.

 

Does paying Lobola mean that you are married?

According to African culture you are considered as married, only after the lobola is paid.

 

What happens during Lobola?

Lobola negotiations are usually handled by the relatives of the groom, usually his uncles… The groom does not participate directly in the process…

 

To calm tensions, and create a more relaxed atmosphere, a bottle of hot drink like Brandy, local beer, or cash, is presented.

 

If you choose to pay cash, it just an amount that is paid to the family of the Bride, to formally open the discussion about marriage . It is separate from the actual Lobola amount…

 

It is the price you pay to “open your mouth”. The bride’s family then of course decides if they will receive the gift so the negotiations can begin.

 

How much does Lobola cost?

There is no fixed amount for lobola. The cost of Lobola is determined by the bride’s family after wide consultations.

Common factors that are considered in determining the Lobola price are the Bride’s education, career or income. Other factors like whether she has children can also be considered.

 

How many cows are in a Lobola?

The cost of Lobola is expressed in number of cows, as Cattle is the accepted currency. The price of one cow needs to be agreed on by both families, so that the total Lobola price can be determined. The average Lobola is usually between 10 to 12 cows.

 

What happens after Lobola?

After the Lobola has been paid in full then the next step is where the groom fulfills a list of items to be gifted to the bride’s family.

 

Gifts that are common on the list of items for the family of the bride are:

Blankets

Pinafores

Doeks or Head scarves

Shawls

Coats

Shoes

Walking sticks

Three-legged pots

Beer pots

and Grass mats.

 

After the distribution of these gifts to the male and female members of the bride’s family, a planned celebration follows to mark the occasion.

 

Can Lobola be returned?

Different cultures have different mindsets on whether or not Lobola should be returned if the marriage is terminated.

 

Some cultures may allow the man to demand for a refund of the lobola, as long as he didn’t breach the marriage agreement.

 

The Zulus believe that once you pay lobola, you are not due a “refund” because, “Lobola is  paid “willingly” and not forced on anyone.

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