South African Zulu Traditional Wedding Umabo; The Process.

A couple is not considered to be married in South Africa and the Zulu people in particular, until a special ceremony called an Umabo is finished. Due to the expense of the Umabo ceremony, some couples choose to get married in a church or in a civil ceremony first, and then have the Umabo celebration a year or so later. Even though they will be legally married, their wedding will not be recognized in the traditional sense.

The Umabo is intended to formally welcome and acquaint the bride with her new family. To represent the celebration, both families will each butcher a cow. According to the Zulu people, if Umabo is not completed, the ancestors will not recognize Makoti (the bride).

Umabo always takes place at the groom’s home. The Bride will be accompanied by her family. She is to bring gifts (normally after a date is set for Umabo a shopping list is completed by the groom’ family and given to the Bride and her family to buy all the items listed on it).

The father-in-law is to greet the bride when she arrives at her in-laws. Her father ought to add a few words expressing his consent for his daughter to be married into that family. As a sign of respect, she is required to sit down on a mat (with her bridesmaids by her side) and remain silent. The Elders will now impart pearls of wisdom to her and her husband for both their marriage and for the rest of their lives. Elders occasionally reprimand or counsel those who have not yet tied the knot.

After that, the gifts will be presented to the groom’s family and the bride will then perform a dance of celebration. She will also have to practice making a bed in front of the whole family to demonstrate that she’s capable of her wifely duties. She’s also expected to live with her in-laws for some time. How long depends on the groom’s family.

Best of all is that most brides work nowadays, so they don’t have to stay with their in-laws for long.